ANNIE
What defines me...
What makes me...
What molds me…
To say I am broken I am not... I just have created a life that I never once dreamed of.
Let me tell you a story...
I am me because 12 years ago I was in the worst state of my life. I was mentally beaten down. I was forced into a fantasy world of hate. When I tell you you are not pretty enough or not muscular enough and that no one will like what you have become, you feel trapped and brainwashed like you can see nothing but a straight line ahead of you. No family, no time. Told you can only spend 50 dollars a week because the rest is used for things that only your mind can’t even imagine.
I didn’t see my parents over the course of 3 years because this man made me feel so bad about myself. I missed out on so much. This man that looks good to everyone else, this makes you feel unrecognizable. To not be able to talk to someone in the grocery store because you will get 20 million questions asked out in the car.
I had no idea that mental abuse could be turned into physical abuse. Being pushed down to have a weapon put to my head. I got back up and stayed. Why? Because that is all I knew. The time finally came after that last push and the last word was said, I was free. I questioned myself many times when I signed my lease at my very 1st (my OWN) apartment, when I changed my number, when I finally said I’m going to buy that 1st perfume without having to 2nd guess myself. I love who I have become.
Fast forward to 2014 was the day my Dad passed away. I threw away 3 years of my life because the man I was with threatened me if I ever left I would not ever see him again. This man wished my Dad would die of a heart problem.. .you know what...he did. I miss my dad every day.
Today I am not defied, I am determined.
I am strong, I am me.
I am molded from my past but I have endured so I can be who I am today. God loves me and I will never put myself in that type of situation again.
Love yourself first.
