I became a contradiction. I was tearful and angry. I had a hard time getting out of bed in the morning. My friends started to ask about the changes in my weight. I was sick more frequently. My trust in others fell flat. I became paranoid. I felt judged. I was on my own...my back was up against the wall in my small little apartment.
The last week and a half has been such a whirlwind, and as I sit here, preparing slideshows of pictures from him 87 years of life, I still struggle to accept that he’s really gone.
You see, it was just 12 days ago that Grandpa went to the doctor because he hadn’t been feeling well. That evening, he was in emergency surgery to remove fluid that was surrounding his heart. And in the process, they found cancer.
I sat in disbelief today as I watched the news roll in. As a fire ravaged Notre Dame, my heart hurt.
About a year and a half ago, Matthew and I spent a week in Paris to celebrate our 5th anniversary. As first time visitors to Paris, we spent our days visiting as many museums and historical sites as we could fit in. Notre Dame was on our list, but it was low on the list of places that we had to see. I am so thankful that we made a point to visit this beautiful cathedral on our final day in Paris.
I seriously felt like Job in the Bible. I’ve learned though that God has been with me every step of the way. He has met all my needs and gives me comfort when I’m feeling at my lowest point.
The days after the fire occurred, I was pretty inconsolable and just felt like I was losing Keith all over again. I had never experienced anything like this in my life. Somehow I knew that God would get me through it I just wasn’t sure how.